Foods and desert...

Just remember about the food i cook my self...i want to share it with all of u out there...although i m not a good cook but once in awhile i really enjoy cooking BUT most of all i really like to eat..that is one of the reason i m in a chubby category...hehehe...

Anyway, if you leave with a mother who enjoy cooking and her cooking is a top notch...this can also be a reason for chubbyness (is there such word??)...

Like i said...once in a blue moon, i will do cooking...and when i do cook...i will make sure it is the best...judge it urself by looking at the picture...

happy birthday to me...

2 days ago, was my bday....happy belated bday to me...

The great thing about my bday was....jeng...jeng....NOTHING HAPPEN....

Yup, nothing happen...no celebration and no gift....just wishes from my family n frenz...this year only 1/3 of my fb frenz give their bday wish....

When i think back...i have always been the family giver not receiver...hv not rcvd gift from my family for the last 8 years...

You all may wonder...how old i am right?....well i am at the age....where other people (in my country) expected me to have a little boy or girl at age of 4...sad to tell...i don't hv them and even worse i don't even have a boyfriend....really sad right?

BUT....i'm happy with what i have....i always belive that...you don't compare yourself with people that above you (better) but compare yourself with people that is lower than you (less fortunate)...if you do that, then you will feel much better about live and yourself...you should always be glad of what you have eventhough sometimes you feel unjustice because some people always get what they want...be humble and thankful...there is always something better for you in the future...just keep praying to god...

sustenance

As always...after work on friday, i and my brothers will go bck to our parents house.. On the way back we stop at this restaurant to eat their famous flood noodle prawn...this restaurant have been operating about 6 months ago...when we arrive they took our order...as always the drinks arrived first, after 20 minutes later both my brothers dishes arrive (at the same time), i saw the couple that arrive later than us rcvd their noodle prawn order which i suspect was my order mistakenly given to them but i wait patiently for my order to arrive...after 30 minutes both my brother hv finish eating and my order still have not arrive...with that i make a conclusion that 'i have no luck'...my brother when to the cashier to pay and later found out that my order was given to someone else...as i expected...No big deal, maybe next time....

2 days later, my parent bought me n my brother again to the restaurant...this time my father meet with the owner (he was my parent neighbour), he took our order and we rcvd our dishes in 20 minutes...that was really fast (compare to last time i have to wait for 50 minutes)...

The lesson here is....never let go your anger and grudges just because you did not get it the first time (in my case i did not get my meals...hahaha), who know maybe next time you will get a better one (in my case, the second time to the restaurant my lovely mom paid for the meals...hehehe)...

Here are the delicouse foods i get to eat....

surprise..surprise

Yesterday i hv to spent all day editing a chapter for our local editorial...the editing was with an expert who is very well verse in English...she did teach me how to write a good write up...anyway when it was lunch time, i start making small talks with her..she just open up about her family background..a divorce woman with 3 children...all boys..her husband is leaving with one of her son...then i asked if his son is married, she automatic asked "why r u asking, r u interested in my boys n r u still single n want to know my boy?"...that was a shocked to me...why, does she said that? Does my face looks so desperate? I was just asking with no intention of knowing her boys, it is just a friendly questions...i was nearly chocking when she said that...anyway she tell me that 2 of her boys are married the 3rd child is still single age 36, maybe because of low self esteem (i hv been told that he is short n dark while his brother were fair and tall) or maybe because heart broken causing his not umarried yet...anyway when she said do i want to know his son and...it was like a second wave shock to me...why? why? Help me..i just being polite...

Too hard for me

Today i feel so stress...not because of work more to personal life...
I had a short break down...i can' t believe the things that hv been told about my brother by his teacher...it really break my hearts..how can he do that to his family...we trusted him and this is how he give bck to us....really disappointed..can believe him any more...no more special treatment for him...i going to take all his privilege...starting today

make thing simple

Why oh why? Things have to be so complicated...can't they make everything simple and easy...the thing is so simple but why people want to make it so damn hard...lets start with my side work (that have not been profitable) the 'K', this one particular people have make a simple job very complicated, the reason why this person make things complicated is because she/he does not want to learn..they also don't want to asked people that are knowledgeable in this area..why so hard to ask? People will gladly share with you their knowledge....'this is my thought of yesterday' BUT TODAY....people don't like to share...why i said this is because i hv been in the shoes of the another people who gladly want to learn but being rejected or coldly ignore because they are to busy...what is this about? do gaining a knowledge require time when people not busy only or it can happen every time....

One more thing that i don't like being chase of work...i know my job please don't go bothering me every time i see you...anyway the thing you asked me to do is not my core task...i need time as it require my creativity side...come on...i want to produce something that hv quality not just a simple thing that people won't value or just ignore it...i want something that will give big impact...if you keep bothering me i will do the job like 'melepaskan batuk di tangga'...or worst come to worst i will quite...anyway, i don't like doing that particular task...
I need break....i really need break...from this hectic task...i hv considering finding a new job which will make we more satisfied....that give me freedom to think n i don't have to bother of other people feelings....help...help...help
(All above this is a post for 2 weeks ago)

Today i feel so tired, angry n disappointed...why people don't like to admit that they are wrong...early in the morning my brother just make me so angry, this is because his daily allowance is missing...i will not be very angry if he admit he took it, his denial make me so disappointed at him...today i feel so tired, i cant watch a 15 years old boy...who is so lazy, very pampered, not real interest in education, like to play all day long, n mostly lied to me several times without feeling wrong..i so tired, my soul n body can't take it...the pressure...

pessimist, hypocrite, domineering

Things that happen in this couple of days has cause me to feel really tired, stress, lack of sleep, feeling down and least motivate...5 days of training along with handling so much work as programme manager has really cause me to blown out...task are not given equally, communication break down as well as working with people that are pessimist, hypocrite,and domineering has make my work live miserable....even my period cycle has change...i can't believe that this miserable thing has effect so much to my body and mind..

Today the 3  word  that i have just underline really need an explanation because then  you will understand how miserable it is my work live...

PESSIMIST: A tendency to stress the negative or unfavourable view
HYPOCRITE: A person who pretend to be what he/she is not
DOMINEERING: Acting with or showing arrogance or tyranny

These a the type of people i am working with now...what a headache..how should i overcome these kind of people in office...

This particular boss has cause a small thing to become so big an issues..getting angry and scolding her people in front outsiders...come on...think about our feeling, don't you know that we have feeling...we are not small children that need to be scolded..just advise us if we did a mistake...then after all that...you think with a macroon you give out can amend all your mistake..to me, i woun't take a bite at those macroon...you can not buy my forgiveness with that small things...your every word that came out from that mouth of yours have been hurtful to be heard by anyone...

Then, this one senior of mine..why so pessimist, can't you be more positive...as a senior you need to do more than just what you have been given...be more active. You can't sit and wait...move it..do more...don't take everything so negative...listen to other people needs...most of all, do your part take charge...you need to be a leader...

Things that have been happening lately has really cause me to start searching for a new job...where should i start??

too senior

What is her problem? just a couple minute before this person asked me to amend the write up if i want too...ok...i will do it, then when i give my idea and feedback...no need to change, this is already ok..with a loud voice and emphasis...WTH!!! sorry for my rude word but i just need to express out loud than keep it in my heart, when i already said ok and accept it and willing to let go the issues, you keep on with your stubborn to know my feedback...u should know when someone doesn't want to proceed with the issues, he or she will try to avoid by doing or talking to someone else..which for your info, i have clearly state that we continue this tomorrow and start talking to someone else, and i have been also being polite saying that someone is waiting for you and should not make that person waiting for so long, which is true, someone is truly waiting for you..

anyway one more issue is, what is the problem for taking along that thing to an official event...that thing is not yours anyway...it is a thing borrow to you, so that you can do your work effectively..just because u don't feel to carry anything with you...why are we there at that place? Are we there for leisure? Come on give me a break...even though you are a senior, that does not mean you can avoid not doing your part of the workload...now i know, why you are so hard to get that promotion...you don't even feel of taking the first step volunteer your self...

Another senior, just break my little heart when she told me that she is going some place else on our event...come on, how can you leave me doing all the things..she is the one that should be our PM...i need u here big senior...i really like her as my senior so don't take me wrong when i complaining about her....she has been really helpful since i enter the new department...and teach me a lot...but i think she is starting to letting go so many things for me to handle...senior please know that the others at office will not listen to me because my designation is equally like them...anyway you know that i don't really get well with some of them because i think they see me as a treat...

Then, there is one more issues of delegating the workload...i have been the PM for one  of the event, can't the boss assign that particular task to someone else...i hate  it when some one can have the leisure of opening file and do the small task while other have to work their butt just to ensure the event when smooth...i'm sure for not doing this task my boss will see me as incompetent...so let it be...i don't feel of taking care  of her opinion on me any more....she has been letting go of her supervision and guiding to me, which what i need most of the time...i hate it when i came to see her to discuss my work, she just said lets discuss it later and never came back to me...

So it is true about an article i read about the reason why people change job is because of their supervisor or boss, not so much of the pay or salary...i have been thinking so many time of changing work and finding new job..but there are so many factors i need to consider...my big bro just change to a new job easily...while my young brother just quite his job without any hesitation...why can't i be like them...it is really not fair...

not in yet

Salary not in yet...my money is depleting...need the salary to start paying for all my debt and other bills...usually the salary went in on time but not today...heard that there were problems with transaction...hope it will recover soon...

I have been stuck at training for about 3 days already...and 3 more days to go :(

With lots of work need to be done...an event is coming, a data collection need to be done, a calculation of P need to prepare, a survey to be distribute and a big project need to be completed within 8 months ...this project is so big i'm wondering when will i get a rest...oh no, i forget there is agm coming which i need to prepare FS :-[

I am also angry with my self, because i hv been eating n causing my weight to be increase...how can i reduce my weight like this...

arrangement

Today is the last day before, the get away to M...as the program manager need to make sure every things went smooth..hope nothing is missing out and the journey went well..the 2 experts are here already..they will start teaching us their method...need to learn carefully and with full dedication..

Today, alhamdullilah...i get free meals for lunch and in the afternoon my younger brother bought us pizza..the money he get from being a 'lab rat' at this uni hospital...they are doing a study in determine the effects of this medicine to young boys...i have been told they took nearly 6 small tube of blood for this reseach..and other test.

Tomorrow will be a long day, need to drive about 2 hours getting there...will slept early... before that will asked my brother to drive me to the some place first...

lion dance

Today, so many things need to be done...still a lot of changes (last minute changes), can't they confirm everything at once...things that are simple becoming complicated...

Anyway today i get the chance to see lion dance...see picture below...amaze at how this people able to react such as a real lion...i just adore the lions tail..can't imagine how this people control it while doing the lion dance...this people must have done a lot of practise to be able to synchronise the back and front...(they need two people to carry this lion)

see the lion tail..it will wiggle along when the lion dance around...don't you think it is cute?

Before meeting start... the big boss arrange a small gathering celebrating the icc winning team...they bought nasi brani with fried chicken and vegetable...this mean my diet gone for the day...also for the meeting they arrange for us to have some 'kuih', cake-SR, small oranges and not forgetting hamper from the winning icc team...all this has ruin my diet...need to start dieting again..afraid i can't fit into my favourite shirts...
During the meeting, this one girl hv been asking about the transfer with me...she does not want to transfer because she has a plan to get married by end of next year...she was so afraid that they will transfer her. I think she is trying to convince me to transfer on her behalf...not that i don't want to volunteer my self but the place they are sending her is not my favourite choice..anyway my big boss did mention that if you feel that you want to transfer than maybe you should not be in the 10 main team to go SD...what should i do? I really want to be a part of the learning team of MCR because this is my chance to improve my self but at the same time it is high time i need a new work environment...

Nothing much

Yahoo...i get an ang pau from my supervisor...not much but the thoughts that count..thank u so much...

Today someone just piss me off, what does he think...that i don't hv my current task just spending my time doing this K job...i just asked a simple question n he fire me back for asking that...u can be sure sir, that i won't attend the meeting u arrange this week...it is my type of small revenge...(evil look)

Back to my life...today when back earlier from office because i want to avoid the traffic..just nice no traffic...wish it is like this everyday..

Hectic day

Today is the first day of working for my boss after came back from a long leave (holiday break)...as usual it mean hectic day..although the boss does not to disturb me but knowing that the boss is around makes me feel uncomfortable... there is one word my younger brother use not comfy (again not sure if the word is available) anyway so many work to be done as an event coming soon..

Today also i get a news about my transfer...the management has arrange for me to transfer in 2018 to the state of S....i sure like to go to that state the only problem is that it is in 5 years time...anything can happen if it is in 5 years time...i think i'm ready to go now...the reason is i need a change in my career soon or i will get boared doing the same thing every year...

Coming back home today is so stressful because of traffic...it has been a week of leisure because school off and many people on leave...and today is just the start of the week, i have 4 more days to face the traffic... :(

Before i leave the page...one question that i need to asked, if you are given the chance to look into the future, will you take it or just live your life as it is (que sera sera)...

K-drama addicted

I hv spend nearly 3 days watching k-drama...what a bad addiction i hv..u all must be wondering what drama i hv been watching...the title is queen in hyun's man, a story about a man from josen era came to the future of 300 years ahead of his time. Here he meet a future woman, an actress. Their life story get in tangle and love started to bloom. The story may seem illogical because of the time travelling of this josen man from past to the future but the drama is a good one..if u have time, spend some time watching this drama...i gave it 3 start out of 5...

Back to my world...nothing much has happen from the last time i log in to blog...my parent bought a new set of chairs, wooden type...not sure of the price n don't feel of asking the price because if i asked they will asked me back if i want to pay for it...which i don't think i can afford to pay..so lesson learn don't asked about something that u will know the feedback n the after effect of the question asked...
Yesterday, i get the chance to walk around my mum house n find a flower, really nice flower cut by my mother because the tree is becoming to big n bushy (i hope there is a meaning of the word bushy)...here is the picture of the flower...

What do u all think? Nice flower right?....i wish some day, someone will give me flower too...i'm pretty sure if that day came my little red heart ♡ will beat much faster than usual.. :)

A quick question...How do u find love? Do i hv to travel back in time @ future just to find the ONE? (such as the k-drama story)...

unproductive day

Today is the most unproductive day for me....from morning to afternoon attending meeting, at lunch time i spend most of the time watching movie...really2 not a productive day...during meeting, i totally feel outcast by my colleague...d meeting was also a dull session...wish i could find a new place to work...not happy with current situation...

why do people always looks at someone features (slim, tall n beautiful) more than the ability of the individual? Sometimes it really make u feel down just thinking what other people see @think about u...even though i know that i should care less of what people think of me...because what they think does not effect at all to me..

hai blog world

First time blogging...happy, excited n mostly blur. What make me want to start blog? To tell the truth, I don't even know what are the reason but it just came to me that i need to start  writing...express my thought n my feeling...
So many thing has happen the past couples of years...this year i need to start venture new things..and blogging is the first step to my adventure of this year (hope it is still not to late..i know it is already second month of the year)...
My first entry for my blog would be my 2013 resolution:
■ REDUCE WEIGHT....capital wording to show how important it is
□ Save more n spend wisely....
● Start learning new things (can bloging be consider as new??..hmmmm....)
○ Read n write more...less talking
This is my 4 main 2013 resolution hope it can happen...