Foods and desert...

Just remember about the food i cook my self...i want to share it with all of u out there...although i m not a good cook but once in awhile i really enjoy cooking BUT most of all i really like to eat..that is one of the reason i m in a chubby category...hehehe...

Anyway, if you leave with a mother who enjoy cooking and her cooking is a top notch...this can also be a reason for chubbyness (is there such word??)...

Like i said...once in a blue moon, i will do cooking...and when i do cook...i will make sure it is the best...judge it urself by looking at the picture...

happy birthday to me...

2 days ago, was my bday....happy belated bday to me...

The great thing about my bday was....jeng...jeng....NOTHING HAPPEN....

Yup, nothing happen...no celebration and no gift....just wishes from my family n frenz...this year only 1/3 of my fb frenz give their bday wish....

When i think back...i have always been the family giver not receiver...hv not rcvd gift from my family for the last 8 years...

You all may wonder...how old i am right?....well i am at the age....where other people (in my country) expected me to have a little boy or girl at age of 4...sad to tell...i don't hv them and even worse i don't even have a boyfriend....really sad right?

BUT....i'm happy with what i have....i always belive that...you don't compare yourself with people that above you (better) but compare yourself with people that is lower than you (less fortunate)...if you do that, then you will feel much better about live and yourself...you should always be glad of what you have eventhough sometimes you feel unjustice because some people always get what they want...be humble and thankful...there is always something better for you in the future...just keep praying to god...

sustenance

As always...after work on friday, i and my brothers will go bck to our parents house.. On the way back we stop at this restaurant to eat their famous flood noodle prawn...this restaurant have been operating about 6 months ago...when we arrive they took our order...as always the drinks arrived first, after 20 minutes later both my brothers dishes arrive (at the same time), i saw the couple that arrive later than us rcvd their noodle prawn order which i suspect was my order mistakenly given to them but i wait patiently for my order to arrive...after 30 minutes both my brother hv finish eating and my order still have not arrive...with that i make a conclusion that 'i have no luck'...my brother when to the cashier to pay and later found out that my order was given to someone else...as i expected...No big deal, maybe next time....

2 days later, my parent bought me n my brother again to the restaurant...this time my father meet with the owner (he was my parent neighbour), he took our order and we rcvd our dishes in 20 minutes...that was really fast (compare to last time i have to wait for 50 minutes)...

The lesson here is....never let go your anger and grudges just because you did not get it the first time (in my case i did not get my meals...hahaha), who know maybe next time you will get a better one (in my case, the second time to the restaurant my lovely mom paid for the meals...hehehe)...

Here are the delicouse foods i get to eat....

surprise..surprise

Yesterday i hv to spent all day editing a chapter for our local editorial...the editing was with an expert who is very well verse in English...she did teach me how to write a good write up...anyway when it was lunch time, i start making small talks with her..she just open up about her family background..a divorce woman with 3 children...all boys..her husband is leaving with one of her son...then i asked if his son is married, she automatic asked "why r u asking, r u interested in my boys n r u still single n want to know my boy?"...that was a shocked to me...why, does she said that? Does my face looks so desperate? I was just asking with no intention of knowing her boys, it is just a friendly questions...i was nearly chocking when she said that...anyway she tell me that 2 of her boys are married the 3rd child is still single age 36, maybe because of low self esteem (i hv been told that he is short n dark while his brother were fair and tall) or maybe because heart broken causing his not umarried yet...anyway when she said do i want to know his son and...it was like a second wave shock to me...why? why? Help me..i just being polite...

Too hard for me

Today i feel so stress...not because of work more to personal life...
I had a short break down...i can' t believe the things that hv been told about my brother by his teacher...it really break my hearts..how can he do that to his family...we trusted him and this is how he give bck to us....really disappointed..can believe him any more...no more special treatment for him...i going to take all his privilege...starting today

make thing simple

Why oh why? Things have to be so complicated...can't they make everything simple and easy...the thing is so simple but why people want to make it so damn hard...lets start with my side work (that have not been profitable) the 'K', this one particular people have make a simple job very complicated, the reason why this person make things complicated is because she/he does not want to learn..they also don't want to asked people that are knowledgeable in this area..why so hard to ask? People will gladly share with you their knowledge....'this is my thought of yesterday' BUT TODAY....people don't like to share...why i said this is because i hv been in the shoes of the another people who gladly want to learn but being rejected or coldly ignore because they are to busy...what is this about? do gaining a knowledge require time when people not busy only or it can happen every time....

One more thing that i don't like being chase of work...i know my job please don't go bothering me every time i see you...anyway the thing you asked me to do is not my core task...i need time as it require my creativity side...come on...i want to produce something that hv quality not just a simple thing that people won't value or just ignore it...i want something that will give big impact...if you keep bothering me i will do the job like 'melepaskan batuk di tangga'...or worst come to worst i will quite...anyway, i don't like doing that particular task...
I need break....i really need break...from this hectic task...i hv considering finding a new job which will make we more satisfied....that give me freedom to think n i don't have to bother of other people feelings....help...help...help
(All above this is a post for 2 weeks ago)

Today i feel so tired, angry n disappointed...why people don't like to admit that they are wrong...early in the morning my brother just make me so angry, this is because his daily allowance is missing...i will not be very angry if he admit he took it, his denial make me so disappointed at him...today i feel so tired, i cant watch a 15 years old boy...who is so lazy, very pampered, not real interest in education, like to play all day long, n mostly lied to me several times without feeling wrong..i so tired, my soul n body can't take it...the pressure...

pessimist, hypocrite, domineering

Things that happen in this couple of days has cause me to feel really tired, stress, lack of sleep, feeling down and least motivate...5 days of training along with handling so much work as programme manager has really cause me to blown out...task are not given equally, communication break down as well as working with people that are pessimist, hypocrite,and domineering has make my work live miserable....even my period cycle has change...i can't believe that this miserable thing has effect so much to my body and mind..

Today the 3  word  that i have just underline really need an explanation because then  you will understand how miserable it is my work live...

PESSIMIST: A tendency to stress the negative or unfavourable view
HYPOCRITE: A person who pretend to be what he/she is not
DOMINEERING: Acting with or showing arrogance or tyranny

These a the type of people i am working with now...what a headache..how should i overcome these kind of people in office...

This particular boss has cause a small thing to become so big an issues..getting angry and scolding her people in front outsiders...come on...think about our feeling, don't you know that we have feeling...we are not small children that need to be scolded..just advise us if we did a mistake...then after all that...you think with a macroon you give out can amend all your mistake..to me, i woun't take a bite at those macroon...you can not buy my forgiveness with that small things...your every word that came out from that mouth of yours have been hurtful to be heard by anyone...

Then, this one senior of mine..why so pessimist, can't you be more positive...as a senior you need to do more than just what you have been given...be more active. You can't sit and wait...move it..do more...don't take everything so negative...listen to other people needs...most of all, do your part take charge...you need to be a leader...

Things that have been happening lately has really cause me to start searching for a new job...where should i start??